“My peers try to dominate me and make fun of me. And when I try to answer them, they just laugh at me. I do not know what to answer."
"I have 3 roommates and I'm the butt of every damn joke. They're all funny and I can't think of anything right off the bat. When they make fun of me, I can't think of a rebuttal. They make inside jokes and jokes just for me. They come up with new things every day.”
If you can relate to these quotes from our readers, then this guide is for you. There's a difference between two friends joking around and someone making fun of you or trying to dominate you. If you want to get more respect in general, you should read our guide with severalTricks that make people respect you.
In this article, you'll learn how to deal with someone who makes fun of you.
- What to Do When Someone Makes Fun of You
- Reasons why some people make fun of others
- common questions
What to Do When Someone Makes Fun of You
When someone puts you down or makes fun of you, it's normal to feel paralyzed. Your mind may go blank, or it may seem like everything you say or do in response to the bully only makes the situation worse. Fortunately, there are several simple strategies you can use to stop teasing and harassing.
How to deal with someone making fun of you:
1. Don't give a predictable answer
If you respond to the bully in a predictable way, imply that he said something funny when he didn't. Jumping on the bully's bait will encourage him to continue having fun at your expense.
Here's an example showing why a predictable response can validate a bully's comments and make the situation worse:
Bullying:"So what movies do you like, you know, besides dirty movies? Hahahaha."
From:"Haha, yeah right!"or"Keep your mouth shut!"or"Haha, no, not me!"
Bullying:"I knew it! HAHAHA."
Everyone around you will probably laugh too, not necessarily because they don't care about your feelings, but becausethey just don't realize how bad you feel🇧🇷 And since the "funny" got the answer he was looking for, he's more likely to do so again in the future.
2. I strongly agree with the joke
This technique is effective and easy to use for beginners who are just starting to find their voice against the "funny guy/girl".
Here's the trick:While maintaining a poker face, you too much agree with their stupid question or statement. Don't laugh or smile. Just give them your answer with a straight face.
The reason is that their response will be the opposite of what they expect. They will either be speechless or look like a complete idiot trying to carry the joke along.
If you react this way, everyone will see your disapproval and realize that what "funny" said wasn't funny at all. The situation will end unpleasantly for the tyrant, as he will laugh to himself.
Here's an example of how to get the upper hand on the funny guy/girl by agreeing too much:
Weird:"So what movies do you like? You know, except dirty movies? Hahahaha."
From:"Oh, you didn't know? I only watch dirty movies."
Weird:"… Well then."
When the bully retiredchange the subjectand continue talking as if nothing had happened.
If possible, ignore the funny joke and any other attempts they make to make the same kind of joke. Not responding while “I agree” makes your disapproval clear to everyone. You basically treat her like your annoying little brother. This shows that you will not tolerate this bad behavior and gives you the upper hand.
3. Ignore the bully
Sometimes the best solution is to ignore the bully. It can work well if you don't think fast or aren't sure what to say when they make fun of you.
If you don't respond to an abuser, you take away his sense of satisfaction. This takes them out of the conversation and leaves them without control over the situation.
How do you really ignore the bully?
- Do not react at all. Pretend you never heard her comment. It can be difficult to get this right at first. Most people fail when trying to ignore someone because their body language shows that they are upset. But maybe it gets easier with practice.
- Continue the conversation as if the bully never spoke. This makes it clear to both the bully and the other interlocutors that you will not accept or tolerate their behavior. This is an important step because if you remain silent, it is not clear whether you are refusing or simply not knowing how to respond.
- If you don't say anything or don't know how to respond, it's best to use the above technique of "TOO UNDERSTANDING" with the bully.
To see how this technique works, imagine this conversation between two friends, Cary and John, and a bully:
Wear: "Who's coming to the beach with me tomorrow? It must be a wonderfully sunny day.
Bullying:“Definitely not John – he's too pale to take his shirt off. He'll blind you if you don't have your sunglasses on!"
If you were John, you could answer like this:
“Going to the beach sounds wonderful. Am I free after 12 if that works for you?
See how John's reaction makes the bully seem rude? This example also shows that you don't have to stoop to the level of a bully by being rude or mean.
If you ignore the bully, he may try harder to fit in with the group. Rather than cracking offensive jokes, they tend to follow the mood of the conversation.
If you ignore a bully's comments long enough, they might start acting nice to fit in again. In some cases, he may even resign from the group altogether. However, if you manage to ignore their comments for a long time, they might stop.
4. Ask the bully to explain what he means
Sometimes you want a good comeback to shut someone up when they make fun of you. This can be quite tricky if you get a blank or don't get a response until it's all gone. (Read more abouthow to never get nervous around people.)
Here's a callback you can use in almost any situation:
Interesting you say that. What you mean to say?
This one is good when you want to confront someone about what they said. It takes the fun out of them when they have to explain themselves. And just like the "strongly agree" method, it doesn't give them the expected response.
5. Memorize and use callback phrases and quotes
If you want to be a little funnier and are willing to be a little mean, you can try using some twists. Here are some ideas:
- Remember when I said you're smart? I lied.
- If I wanted to kill myself, I would scale your ego and jump to your IQ.
- You should eat some makeup. That way you'll look pretty, at least on the inside.
- Acting like an idiot won't make your bigger.
- It's amazing how stupid people can be. Thanks for the demo.
- You are as useful as a raincoat in the desert.
- Your ass must be jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth.
- Have you ever thought about what your life would be like if you were raised in a better family?
- You have your whole life to be an idiot. Why not take the day off?
- I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings by calling you stupid. I thought you knew
- You know what? You always make me so happy... when you leave.
- Too bad you can't wear makeup for your personality.
Use these phrases with caution. In certain situations, they can backfire. For example, if you're dealing with someone who is very confrontational, coming back could make them very angry. If you use them, it's important that you do so playfully - you don't want to risk an argument.
6. Draw attention to your bullying tendencies
If you're dealing with someone who constantly makes fun of you or puts you down, you can deal with their comments by pretending that their behavior is just an immature and embarrassing habit and not something you take personally.
This spoils the bully's fun, because although you appreciate his behavior, you don't allow it to get to you. It's an unexpected reaction that can confuse them.
You can do this by smiling, laughing, or rolling your eyes and saying something like, "Oh, classic [name]" or "Oh, right, there he/she is again!" The trick is to be like that, to act like they're just a nuisance and not a threat.
Here's an example that shows this approach in action. Imagine telling some friends about a used car you recently bought. One party member, James, tends to bully you (and others). He knows you earn a low salary and sometimes makes fun of your job and your income.
Her: I'm finally picking up my car on Thursday. Can't wait for it! It's not new, but I got a good deal. It is difficult to get around this area by public transport.
James: Amazing, I've never seen anyone so excited about a used car. But I think you have to be passionate about simple things if you want to earn peanuts.
Her: Haha, classic James!
James: Was it?
Her: Do you know how to put people down? [Laughs] That's your thing.
James: That's not it! I'm just saying it's kind of pathetic to get so excited about a cheap car.
She looks! [smiles, rolls eyes] Typical James! Anyway... [changes the subject]
This technique puts the spotlight on the attacker's character and draws attention away from you. Don't engage with their comments or engage in an argument - that's what they want you to do. Just label their behavior, discard it, and move on.
7. Learn to be more confident
Research suggests that being more assertive can protect you from harassment. According to a 2020 study on workplace bullyingInternational Journal of Nursing Practice,People with low assertiveness may be at greater risk of bullying.
This may be because assertive people stand up for their rights and defend their personal boundaries, which can make it easier for them to quickly stop teasing and other disrespectful behavior.
If you feel that you are being too submissive, you might want to read about it.Steps you can take to become more confident.
8. Find out if you are dealing with a toxic person
It's important to know the difference between a true friend who made a mistake and one who made a mistake.toxic friendwho really doesn't care about your feelings. A true friend is always worth a second try, but you must eliminate toxic friends from your life.
However, try to remember that nobody is perfect. For example, most of us make rash comments or avoid conversations from time to time. Don't be quick to assume someone is toxic just because they've been rude a few times. You should look for behavioral patterns before jumping to conclusions.
here are someSigns Your Friend May Be Toxic:
- They do things without your permission and may disregard your boundaries. For example, they may borrow your belongings without asking.
- They try to make you feel guilty or use emotional blackmail to get what they want. For example, they might say things like, "If you really cared about me, you'd lend me $50 for gas" or "If you were a real friend, wouldn't you mind taking care of me," even though they know you don't I want to lend them money or take care of their children.
- They are nice one on one but try to boss you around when you are in a group. True friends treat you with respect, no matter who's around.
- They don't pay much attention to you during conversations; They may use you as a sounding board or therapist.
- They are unapologetic when they hurt or let you down, even if you let them know how you feel.
- When they tease you, they focus on the things they know make you insecure. For example, if your friend knows you're weight conscious, it would be toxic and impolite for them to joke about your height or shape.
9. Ask the other person to change their behavior
Here is onemore diplomatic wayYou can accept if you value a relationship. Remember, this phrase works in any type of relationship.where both are motivated to get along.
It is your responsibility to tell the bully how you feel if you want them to stop. It's their fault, but since they usually don't know how their behavior is affecting you, you need to let them know.
Here are some tips to help you stay clear:
- Do not generalize. Don't say something like, "You're always trying to dominate me." Generalizations make other people defensive and aren't particularly helpful because they don't explain exactly why you're hurt. Instead, give a concrete example.
- Tell the person how YOU feel, not what YOU do and don't do. This is achieved throughUse I statements🇧🇷 Nobody can disprove that you have certain feelings, but they might disagree if you tell them how to act.
- Give them the benefit of the doubt and make it clear that you don't want to attack your friend and just sort it out. For example, you could say, "You probably didn't mean to hurt me."
Here is an example:
"Sometimes you say things I don't like.An example is when you joked about my new sweater. I feel humiliated when you make such comments. You probably didn't mean to sound mean, but I want you to know how it made me feel."
It takes courageopen up to someonewho is hurting you, but standing up for yourself will be worth it in the long run.
10. Tell someone you are being bullied
Opening up about your experiences can make you feel better, which will give you a mental edge the next time someone tries to put you down. Talk to a friend or family member about what's going on. Perhaps they have similar experiences to share.
You could also try talking to a therapist who can help you come up with good strategies for dealing with bullying both practically and emotionally.
We recommend BetterHelp for online therapy, as they offer unlimited messages, one session a week, and are cheaper than going to a therapist's office.
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Reasons why some people make fun of others
If you've been the victim of bullying, harassment or malicious teasing, you may have wondered what makes people behave so badly.
It's hard to say why someone makes fun of others, but psychologists have taken some steps to find out the causes of bullying.
Here are some of the reasons why some people humiliate or bully others:
1. Low self-esteem
Some people might try to make themselves feel better by making fun of others.
A meta-analysis published in the journalAggressiveness and violent behaviorfound a modest association between bullying behavior and low self-esteem.
According to an article by Harvey published inbusiness ethics magazine,Biological differences like B. Genetics may explain why some people are prone to bullying.
In 2019, Veldkamp et al. conducted a study with pairs of identical and non-identical school-age twins. Their goal was to find out whether a person's genes or environment made them more or less prone to bullying. Researchers have found that genetic influences can make children more likely to become bullies or victims.
3. Lack of empathy
A 2015 review published in the magazineAggressiveness and violent behaviornotes that there is a negative association between the ability to feel empathy and bullying behavior.People who have a hard time imagining what those around them are thinking and feeling are more likely to make fun of others. This could be because they don't fully understand how their actions affect their victims.
4. Need for control
Some people may bully because they want to control the people around them.For example, an employee might bully others in the workplace because they want to control who works on their team, who works specific shifts, and how the work gets done. By bullying and mocking his co-workers, an employee can get his own way.
5. Desire to increase your status
Some people try to gain popularity by bullying other people. The results of a 2020 study published inAmerican Journal of Sociologyshowed that bullies often try to establish dominance by picking on people in their social circle, including people they would consider friends.For example, a bully may try to appear smarter or funnier than someone else by repeatedly putting them down.
6. Learned behavior
Bullying can be a behavior learned by the people around you.For example, an employee who sees a colleague get away with making fun of others may be more likely to follow suit than an employee who works in a location with a zero-tolerance policy on bullying.
7. Personality Disorders
There is a positive association between personality disorders and bullying behavior. Vaugh et al. analyzed the results of a large-scale survey of 43,093 adults and found that histrionic, paranoid, and antisocial personality disorders are increased risk factors for bullying.
8. Adult Bullying Syndrome
Psychologist Chris Piotrowski coined the term Adult Bully Syndrome (ABS) to describe the behavior and tendencies of people who tend to bully others.
In a 2015 article, Piotrowski explains that people with ABS have several defining characteristics; They are controlling, insensitive, self-centered, manipulative, and Machiavellian.These traits are common in people with personality disorders.
How to deal with a colleague who makes fun of me?
There is no one-size-fits-all solution for dealing with workplace bullying. In some cases, ignoring them can work. If the problem persists, you can try to explain why you are feeling hurt and ask them to stop. You could also try asking a member of management or your team leader for advice.
What should I do if someone makes fun of me online?
In many cases, ignoring is the easiest way to deal with an online bully. Remember, you don't have to reply to mean comments. On social media, consider blocking or muting the person who is making fun of you. If they repeatedly harass you or make you feel unsafe, report them to the platform.
- Fang, L., Hsiao, L., Fang, S., and Chen, B.C. (2020). Effects of assertiveness and psychosocial work conditions on bullying among nurses: a cross-sectional study.International Journal of Nursing Practice, 26(6).https://doi.org/10.1111/ijn.12806.
- Tsaousis, I. (2016). The relationship of self-esteem with bullying and victimization among peers in schoolchildren and adolescents: a meta-analytic review.Aggressiveness and violent behavior,31, 186–199.https://doi.org/10.1016/j.avb.2016.09.005
- Harvey, M., Treadway, D., Heames, J.T., & Duke, A. (2008). Bullying in the 21st Century Global Organization: An Ethical Perspective.Journal of Business Ethics,85(1), 27–40.https://doi.org/10.1007/s10551-008-9746-8
- Velkamp, S. A.M., Boomsma, D.I., de Zeeuw, E.L., van Beijsterveldt, C.E.M., Bartels, M., Dolan, C.V., & van Bergen, E. (2019). Genetic and environmental influences on different forms of bullying, victimization by bullying and their co-occurrence.behavioral genetics,49(5), 432-443.https://doi.org/10.1007/s10519-019-09968-5
- Mitsopoulou, E., & Giovazolias, T. (2015). Personality traits, empathy and bullying behavior: a meta-analytic approach.Aggressiveness and violent behavior,21, 61–72.https://doi.org/10.1016/j.avb.2015.01.007
- Apt, C. (2016). Nurses as bullies and victims of bullies.psychology and pedagogy,53(1-2), 50-55.
- Faris R, Felmlee D and McMillan C (2020). With these friends: aggression for friendship and equality.American Journal of Sociology,126(3), 673–713.https://doi.org/10.1086/712972
- Vaughn MG, Fu Q, Bender K, DeLisi M, Beaver KM, Perron BE, & Howard MO. (2010). Psychiatric correlates of bullying in the United States: results from a national sample.Psychiatric Quarter,81(3), 183–195.https://doi.org/10.1007/s11126-010-9128-0
- Piotrowski, C. (2015). Adult Bully Syndrome: A Bibliometric Analysis of Conformity with Personality Disorder Traits.Journal of Educational Psychology,42(1), 1-3.